Tsunami tragedy - helping children cope

07 Jan 2005

After almost two weeks of repeated images on the television and in the print media of the tsunami tragedy, Child and Youth Health’s Manager of the Centre for Parenting, Pam Linke acknowledges that the images will no doubt start to take their toll. This time the terror is a reality for Australians and there is a real need for parents to help children cope with the distress of such events. Children can be affected by their parents’ response to something like this, as well as by what they see and hear directly. Child and Youth Health has issued this advice to Parents who have children experiencing distress at what has happened in Bali.

For very young children (pre-school)

• Turn off the TV and radio. It is very hard for young children to make sense out of what they see and hear and it can be very frightening.
• Try not to discuss what has happened in front of the children.
• Keep to normal routines, which give young children a sense of safety and security.
• Try not to show your own anxiety because children will quickly pick up your feelings and know there is something wrong.

If your children have already heard or seen something about it:

• listen to their feelings calmly
• explain that what has happened is in another country and a long way away and reassure them that they are still safe.
• give lots of physical reassurance
• give opportunities to play, draw and paint (without guiding them). This helps children to deal with feelings.

Young children show worries by sleep problems and behaviour problems. If these things happen your child will need extra reassurance and support.

For school age children

• Most children of this age will have heard what has happened and will have some reactions.
• It is still a good idea to protect them from the TV and radio. Visual images can have a powerful impact. If they ask questions give them information without unnecessary detail.
• Keep to routines that provide a sense of safety. Some things you can do in the time when you usually watch TV might be playing games, walking the dog, shopping, gardening, a bike ride – give your family a sense of togetherness.
• Give opportunities to talk about their feelings and their fears. Validate their feelings as real. Let your children know they can talk to you any time they are afraid.
• Try to help them with their fears by talking through the issues according to their age and understanding eg “Sad and scary things do happen in the world but they are rare and there are lots of sensible people who are working to stop things like this happening”.
• Most of all think about your own response. When things like this happen it touches all our own sense of insecurity. It is really important to hold on to the sane and down to earth aspects of our daily life and this is what will make the world feel safe for your children.

School age children may still show worries through behaviour as well as or instead of talking about them. They may show them by not wanting to go to school, by behaviour problems or by physical symptoms such as headaches or tummy aches. If your children are showing worries in this way it is important to help them to talk about their fears. Bedtime is often a good listening time.

For teenagers

This tragedy in Bali may have even more impact on Australian teenagers than the World Trade Centre bombings because in Bali the target was a place where young people, particularly young Australians, gathered to relax and enjoy life. 

Young people are very aware of what is happening in the world and often feel vulnerable. They still look to parents for a sense of safety and security.

With young people you can listen to their feelings and share yours, but remember they are looking to you and your response for their own sense of safety.

Even young people can show their feelings by their behaviour and may withdraw or become aggressive under stress. It is important to react to the feelings behind the behaviour rather than the behaviour itself.

Remember that reactions to a crisis such as this may continue or come back after the media response has died down.

For Parents

It is important that adults also support each other. Talk about your feelings with friends. Remember that there are many, many people working together to make the world a better place, and there will be many heroic deeds happening during this crisis that will not be seen on TV but which attest to the sane and good forces in the world. Keep up your usual routines and things you enjoy and try not to watch too much TV!

For all children and young people, remember that you are the rock for your children. If you keep calm and caring they will usually be OK.

If necessary seek help – if you are worried about your own or a child’s immediate or ongoing reactions ask for help. You could call the Child and Youth Health Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 or your local health professional.

D. Engelhardt
Child and Youth Health 

Pam Linke, parenting expert for Child and Youth Health,
is available for comment - mobile 0402 071 452

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